Long time.. sort of.. no speaky..

It's actully been for the whole 5 weeks I haven't wrote! I wish I could say something like it's because I've got no end of uni work and everytime I start to write something comes up and distracts me. Resent news is I have decided my aim is now to move to Brighton in August. God willing, So I'm now sorting out my plans and everything, sorting out references, writting personal statements and will soon be sorting out my portfolio. It's exciting, I went to visit CCK on Sunday evening and it was soooo different to Solent and I was abit unsure about things but when I came home and prayed I realised it was because I didn't know anyone and moving isnt gona be easy anyway and God just wants me to step out. So I'm gona.
Something I'm strugling with at the moment is selectivly reflecting Jesus. Lack of consistantcy and I used to be like it. And I would be a liar if I said I reflected Jesus all the time. It's just now I have this feeling of when I fail at reflecting Jesus it gets me down, I don't do it deliberatly. But I feel like sometimes people chose to reflect Jesus when it suits them, When it doesn't effect the fun times they are having and then as soon as they want to recieve from God they are willing to go all out. Theres a wrong attitude towards sin, and thats that "You would like to but you shouldn't". For instance if you truely love someone you wouldnt want to cheat of them, Because you truely love them, you wouldnt say "Oh I love them so much but I wouldnt it be fun to be with someone else" and if we know sin seperates us from christ then why have this attitude towards sin?
I know I have been guilty of this, I want to change it. The best times in my life are spent with God, So I want to keep my eyes on him.
Something amazing about God. He is gracious... He sees our hearts. No matter how much we let him down, his grace is new each day, he will still use us. He is amazing. So amazing it will never be a question of "Who was good last week and didn't sin come here and I will use you" it's a case of "Who wants it? Here it is" That is whats so amazing about God, He takes you as you are. It is beautiful, It should get you excited, You should realise just how much he loves you, and take it in, let it change you, TRUELY shape you. and you will not regret it.
Someone said the other day that they had never met someone who had become a christian and regreted it, and its true. When I became a christian it was the hardest thing to do ever, and well it was horible, but I have never regreted it. It's amazing.